The Life Of A Civil War Soldier


The life of a soldier in the 1860s was an arduous one, and for the thousands of young Americans who left home to fight for their cause, it was an experience none of them would ever forget. Military service meant many months away from home and loved ones, long hours of drill, often inadequate food or shelter, disease, and many days spent marching on hot, dusty roads or in a driving rainstorm burdened with everything a man needed to be a soldier as well as baggage enough to make his life as comfortable as possible. There were long stretches of boredom in camp interspersed with moments of sheer terror experienced on the battlefield. For these civilians turned soldiers, it was very difficult at first getting used to the rigors and demands of army life. Most had been farmers all of their lives and were indifferent to the need to obey orders. Discipline was first and foremost a difficult concept to understand, especially in the beginning when the officer one had to salute may have been the hometown postmaster only a few weeks before. Uniforms issued in both armies were not quite as fancy as those worn by the hometown militias, and soldiering did not always mean fighting. There were fatigue duties such as assignments to gather wood for cook fires. Metal fittings had to be polished, horses groomed and watered, fields had to be cleared for parades and drill, and there were water details for the cook house. Guard duty meant long hours pacing up and down a well-trod line, day or night, rain or shine, always on watch for a foe who might be lurking anywhere in the hostile countryside. A furlough was hard to come by as every man was needed in the field and few men ever had a chance to visit home.

Summer and winter quarters

A soldier’s home in camp was a rectangular piece of canvas buttoned to another to form a small two-man tent or dog tent as the soldiers called them. First introduced in 1862, every Union soldier was issued one for use during active campaign and the men joked that only a dog could crawl under it and stay dry from the rain. The tent could be easily pitched for the evening by tying each end to a rifle stuck in the ground by the bayonet or by stringing it up to fence rails. Confederates did not receive shelter tents though some Confederate units were issued a variation of the tent, which they pitched as a lean-to or shelter. As the war progressed it was very common for a Confederate camp to be filled with captured Union tents as well as captured blankets, canteens, and haversacks. Confederates especially prized the Union rubber blankets, which were not manufactured in the south and were ideal as a ground cloth or overhead shelter.

Army camps were like a huge bustling city of white canvas, sometimes obscured by smoke from hundreds of campfires. Camps were considered temporary throughout the year until the winter months when the armies would establish winter quarters. The soldiers would construct log huts that were large enough to accommodate several men, made of trees taken from any nearby source. The logs were laid out on stones underneath the bottom log, in a rectangle and notched to fit tight at the corners and stones, brick, or mud-covered logs were formed into a small fireplace in one end. Mud filled the gap between the logs and inside of the chimney over the fireplace. A roof made from tents or sawn boards and wooded bunks built inside finished the hut. Soldiers often named their winter huts after well known hotels or restaurants back home such as “Wiltshire Hotel” or “Madigan’s Oyster House.” The armies quartered in these small huts through the winter months and then it was back to the field and dog tents.

Drill and discipline

The singular purpose of the soldier was to fight a battle and win. There were a variety of small arms used during the Civil War. The average infantryman carried a muzzle-loading rifle-musket manufactured in American arsenals or one purchased from foreign countries such as England. The bayonet was an important part of the rifle and its steel presence on the muzzle of the weapon was very imposing. When not in battle, the bayonet was a handy candle holder and useful in grinding coffee beans. The typical rifle-musket weighed eight and one-half pounds and fired a conical shaped bullet called the Minie Ball. Bullets were made of very soft lead and caused horrible wounds which were difficult to heal. The artillery was composed of both rifled and smoothbore cannon, each gun served by a crew of fourteen men including the drivers. The role of the artillery was to support the infantry while the infantry role was to either attack or defend, depending on the circumstances. Both branches worked together to coordinate their tactics on the field of battle. Cavalrymen were armed with breech loading carbines, sabers, and pistols. Cavalry was initially used for scouting purposes and to guard supply trains. The role of mounted troops had expanded by the time of Gettysburg, with cavalry divisions acting as skirmishers and fighting mounted and on foot in pitched battles such as Brandy Station, Virginia on June 9, 1863. Other branches of the armies included the signal corps, engineers, medical and hospital corps, as well as supply organizations including the quartermasters.

Marching and fighting drill was part of the daily routine for the Civil War soldier. Infantry soldiers drilled as squads and in company formations, each man getting accustomed to orders and formations such as marching in column and in a “company front,” how to face properly, dress the line, and interact with his fellow soldiers. After an hour of drill on that level, the company moved onto regimental level drills and parades. The soldier practiced guard mount and other procedures such as the Manual of Arms, which infantrymen learned for the rifle-musket. Veterans of the war often remarked how they could recite the steps of loading and priming for many years after the war, thanks to the continual drill.The drill was important for the infantry for they used tactics that had changed little since the time of the American Revolution or the age of Napoleon: infantry fought in closely knit formations of two ranks (or rows) of soldiers, each man in the rank standing side by side. This formation was first devised when the single-shot, muzzle loading musket became the normal weapon on the battlefield, the close ranks being a necessity because of the limitations of the musket. Yet, by 1861, new technology had made the old fashioned smoothbore musket nearly obsolete with the introduction of the rifle musket. By the time of the Gettysburg Campaign, the rifle musket made up the majority of infantry weapons in both the Union and Confederate armies though it took much longer for the tactics to change. Even with the advance of the rifle musket, the weapons were still muzzle loaders and officers believed that the old-fashioned drill formations were still useful to insure a massing of continuous firepower that the individual soldier could not sustain. The result of this slow change was a much higher than anticipated rate of casualties on the battlefield.

Cavalrymen drilled with their sabers, both on foot and horseback, while artillerymen drilled with their cannons limbered up to the team of horses and unlimbered, ready to fire. Oddly enough, marksmanship on a rifle range did not take precedence over other drill the soldiers learned for several reasons — the military believed that each man would shoot accurately when told to and the war departments did not wish to waste ammunition fired on random targets.

For the infantry, drums were used to announce daily activities, from sunrise to sunset. Reveille was sounded to begin the day at 5 AM, followed by an assembly for morning roll call and breakfast call. Sick call was sounded soon after breakfast, followed by assemblies for guard duty, drill, or to begin the march. Drummers were also important on the march to keep soldiers in step during parades and to call them to attention. In battle, drums were sometimes used to signal maneuvers and give signals for the ranks to load and fire their weapons. The artillery and cavalry relied solely on buglers who were as important in their roles as the drummers were to the infantry. When not playing for their respective regiments, musicians were often combined with regimental or brigade bands to play marching tunes or provide field music for parades, inspections, and reviews.

Discipline in the military was very strict. The Provost Marshal of the army was responsible for enforcing military rules, but regimental commanders also had the authority to dole out punishments for minor offenses. Petty offenses such as shirking camp duty or not keeping equipment in good order were usually treated with extra duties such as digging latrines, chopping wood, or standing extra hours on guard duty. Insubordination, thievery, cowardice, or other offenses were more serious and the guilty party was usually subjected to embarrassing punishments such as carrying a log, standing on a barrel, or wearing a placard announcing his crime. “Bucking and gagging” was also a common punishment — the soldier’s limbs were bound and he was gagged so he could not speak. In the artillery, the guilty person might be tied to the spare wheel on the back of a caisson. Desertion, spying, treachery, murder, or threats on an officer’s life were the most serious offenses to which the perpetrator was condemned to military prison or shot by a firing squad. Crimes committed against civilians were also punishable by the army and felons were executed by hanging before a formation of soldiers.

Camp life

Leisure activities were similar in either army and most of it was spent writing letters home. Soldiers were prolific letter writers and wrote at every opportunity. It was the only way for them to communicate with loved ones and inform the home folks of their condition and where they were. Thrifty soldiers sent their pay home to support their families and kept only a small amount to see them through until the next payday. The arrival of mail in camp was a cause for celebration no matter where the soldiers were and there was sincere grumbling when the mail arrived late. The lucky soldiers who received a letter from home often read and re-read them many times. Packages from home contained baked goods, new socks or shirts, underwear, and often soap, towels, combs, and toothbrushes. Union soldiers often spent their free time at the sutler’s store, comparable to the modern post exchange, where they could purchase toiletries, canned fruit, pocketknives, and other supplementary items, but usually at exorbitant prices. A private’s salary amounted to $13.00 per month in 1863 and those unfortunates who owed the sutler watched as most of their pay was handed over to the greedy businessman on pay day. Confederates did not have the luxury of sutlers, who disappeared soon after the war began. Instead they depended on the generosity of folks at home or farmers and businessmen near the camps.

Free time was also spent in card games, reading, pitching horseshoes, or team sports such as the fledgling sport of baseball, a game which rapidly gained favor among northern troops. Rule booklets were widely distributed and the game soon became a favorite. Soldiers also played a form of football that appeared more like a huge brawl than the game we know today, and often resulted in broken noses and fractured limbs. Holidays were celebrated in camp with feasts, foot races, horse racing, music, boxing matches, and other contests. But while on active campaign, the soldiers were limited to writing, cleaning uniforms and equipment, and sleeping.

Despite orders to the contrary, many soldiers kept pets with them including dogs, cats, squirrels, raccoons, and other wildlife. One regiment from Wisconsin even had a pet eagle that was carried on its own perch next to the regimental flags. General Lee was purported to have had a pet chicken that faithfully delivered a fresh egg for the general everyday. By far the most popular pets appears to have been dogs and their presence with a master in camp or on the march was often overlooked by high commanders. Many officers, including General George Armstrong Custer who kept a number of dogs around his headquarters, favored the hardiness of these loyal companions and their companionship was, as one soldier put it, a “soothing connection” with home. Both the 11th Pennsylvania Infantry and the 1st Maryland Infantry (CSA) had singular dogs that followed the men through the most difficult campaigns including Gettysburg. Sallie, the 11th Pennsylvania’s unofficial mascot, is remembered in a bronze likeness on the regimental monument at Gettysburg and symoblized there for its loyalty to the dead of the regiment. The canine that accompanied the 1st Maryland was regrettably killed in action on July 3 at Culp’s Hill, after having participated in the charge of the regiment. Struck by the animal’s gallantry and loyalty to its human companions, a Union officer ordered that the animal be given a proper burial alongside the dead of 1st Maryland.

Religion was very important in the soldier’s daily routine. Many of the men attended church services on a regular basis and some even carried small testaments with the rest of their baggage. Union and Confederate armies had numerous regimental and brigade chaplains. These loyal officers also acted as assistants in field hospitals comforting the sick and wounded, and writing letters home for those who could not write. Chaplains held field services for their respective units and most accompanied the soldiers as they marched onto the battlefield. Father William Corby, the chaplain of the Irish Brigade, is best remembered for his granting of unconditional absolution to the members of the brigade before they marched into battle in the Wheatfield on July 2nd. Father Corby was immensely popular with the men and in the post-war era became president of Notre Dame University.

Logan Paul - Women In Bathroom Stalls


Logan Paul, a youtube star, seeming contrite and sincere, posted a video apology online Tuesday following intense criticism on social media over an earlier YouTube post showing women in bathroom stalls.

"I should have never posted the video," said the social media star, his voice thick with emotion. "There are a lot of things I should have done differently but I didn't and for that, from the bottom of my heart, I am sorry."

Paul's earlier written apology did little to quell the outrage over the controversial YouTube video.

Who is Logan Paul? He is an American vlogger and actor. He first gained fame through videos shared on the internet video service Vine. Paul later branched out into acting in television and films.

"I want to apologize to the internet," he said in the new video. "I want to apologize to anyone who has seen the video. I want to apologize to anyone who has been affected or touched by my video. But, most importantly, l want to apologize to the victims and their families."

Paul asked fans to not defend his actions, and said his goal was to entertain and "push the boundaries" but not to be "heartless, cruel or malicious."

"I made a huge mistake," he said. "I don't expect to be forgiven. I'm just here to apologize. I'm ashamed of myself. I'm disappointed in myself and I promise to be better. I will be better."

Paul removed the original video from YouTube. In it, Paul and his group come upon buildings with women's bathrooms that were easy to access.

After he sees the women, Paul says: "This is a first for me. This literally probably just happened."
 

These women's upper bodies aren't shown in the video.

Someone off camera says: "I don't feel good."

Paul replies: "What, you've also never stood next to a women on a toilet?"

The person says, "No."

Paul bursts into laughter. "It was gonna be a joke. This was all a joke. Why did it become so real?" he asks.


"Naked women sitting on toilets isn't a joke," he says. "We came here with the intent to focus on the bathrooms and not these naked women on toilets. This just became very real."

Paul and his friends gather at the parking lot. And he says to the camera that "the smiling and laughing ... is not a portrayal of how I feel about the circumstances. Everyone copes with s*** differently... I cope with things with humor."

He said that he was not monetizing the video for "obvious reasons" and gave a graphic video warning.





The satire contained in this article and the fictional nature of it's content – even if based on real people and however similar to real events, is solely for entertainment.

The American Cowboy


“When you call me that, smile,” the hero said to the bad man in that first of thousands of cowboy novels, Owen Wister’s “The Virginian.” Even before that book’s publication in 1902, the cowboy had become a part of the American psyche. Something there was about him—tall in the saddle, alone, facing danger, one man against nature’s vast, treeless plains and humanity’s outlaws—that appealed to people and made the cowboy a folk hero, a half-real, half-mythological symbol of the American West.

Predecessors of the cowboy date back to colonial times. In western Massachusetts, in the uplands of the Carolinas, in Florida, and across the northern, red clay hills of Georgia and Alabama, cattle-raising societies existed long before the Great Plains had been cleared of buffalo. It was in Florida that much of the protocol involving branding evolved. Yet the cattle industry of the Southeast never attracted national attention. The herders never became heroes. They remained little known and were recognized for what they were—illiterate, unmounted trespassers on the public domain, drifting from grazing ground to grazing ground, trailing their beasts to markets at Ohio River towns or to Savannah or Jacksonville.

Did You Know?

Cattle herds traveled an average of 15 miles a day.

The cowboy of myth and reality had his beginnings in Texas. There cattle grew wild with few natural enemies; by the end of the Civil War there were an estimated 5 million of them. It was then that the cowboy entered his twenty-year golden age, 1866-1886, the era of the open range and the great cattle drives.

The incentive was the high price of beef up North, where Union armies had exhausted the supply and the urbanizing East provided a ready market. A steer worth four dollars in Texas was worth forty dollars in the North. The economics did not escape the Texans. Beginning in 1866 they began moving long lines of longhorns northward, with the primary destination being the railhead at Sedalia, Missouri. Indians and farmers who resented cattle trampling their crops and spreading the dreaded Texas fever protested their passage. Outlaws stole the cattle and were not averse to killing the men driving them.

Texans searched for a route with better grass and fewer Indians, farmers, and desperadoes. When railroads inched across the plains, new trails, among them the Chisholm, Western, and Loving, veered westward to intercept them. Cattle towns such as Abilene, Wichita, Ellsworth, Caldwell, and Dodge City enjoyed a brief heyday of prosperity and violence. Later trails headed on north to Ogallala, Cheyenne, Glendive, and Miles City. By 1886 the open-range cattle business had spread throughout the Great Plains and had merged with earlier cattle enterprises in Colorado, Idaho, Washington, Utah, Nevada, Arizona, and California.

The men who worked the cattle in the treeless expanses of the West, at least one-fourth of them blacks, became known as cowboys. The image of the courageous, spirited horseman living a dangerous life carried with it an appeal that refuses to disappear. Driving a thousand to two thousand cattle hundreds of miles to market; facing lightning and cloudbursts and drought, stampedes, rattlesnakes, and outlaws; sleeping under the stars and catching chow at the chuckwagon—the cowboys dominated the American galaxy of folk heroes.

Even their dress inspired envy. The cowboys’ hats were high-crowned with wide, floppy rims, practical for protection from the sun’s glare, useful as a cup with which to scoop up water or, folded over, as a pillow. The bandana handkerchief tied around the neck could be lifted to cover mouth and nostrils from dust. Originally the collarless shirt and trousers were nondescript, of flannel or wool. A vest was often worn; it gave some protection from cold winds and also had a number of useful pockets, one of which held Bull Durham tobacco and cigarette papers. The boots with heels two inches high, the better to rest in the stirrups or dig into the ground while roping a calf, may have appeared exotic to a dude, but they were absolutely practical. The stock saddle’s design traced all the way back to the Moors of North Africa, having come to the American cowboy by way of the Spanish and Mexicans. Chaparejos, or chaps, served a valuable purpose when a cowboy had to chase after a steer into a patch of thorny mesquite. A bridle, a lariat, and, during the cattle drives, probably a well-balanced six-shooter completed the cowboys’ outfit.

Ranchers staked out homesteads often centered in a cottonwood grove, with ample water nearby; they grazed their cattle over thousands of acres of public domain. Barbed wire, a web of railroads throughout the Great Plains, and enforcement of federal land laws all put an end to the open-range cattle industry and the great trails. By the mid-1880s prudent cattlemen realized that the industry was overexpanded, the Great Plains overgrazed, and the price of beef declining.

The dry summer of 1886 followed by the terrible winter of 1886-1887 destroyed what remained of the original industry. The open range was ended. Blooded cattle were brought in to improve the stock. The cowboy who hated to work unmounted was often reduced to riding a haymow, mending fences, and applying medicines to sick cattle. Where once he had herded cattle up the trails to Abilene or Dodge, he now ran the line—the water divide between his ranch and his neighbor’s. There was still the semiannual roundup when cowboys representing several ranches rendezvoused and rode great circles, rounding up all the cattle they could find. They were then herded to a central place where cowboys from each ranch cut out its beasts and drove them back to the home range.

Glorified in thousands of novels and hundreds of motion pictures, the American cowboy is so mythologized that the reality and the legend are almost inseparable. Yet the reality is that the cowboy still exists because his work is essential to the industry. In many areas of the American West he still rides a horse, though he may carry it in a horse trailer behind his pickup truck to the point where the road gives out and a horse becomes indispensable. He may survey the ranchman’s spread in a small airplane that he pilots, and he may help his employer determine with a computer matters of feed, weight, and salability. But he still dresses like a cowboy because the garb is practical; he understands cattle and horses and gazes out upon the treeless expanse just as his predecessors did. His work and his workplace, in spite of encroaching population, are still there.

Lil C Deep, Rapper Who Blended Hip-Hop and Rapo, Is Dead At 22


Lil C Deep, who over the last two years emerged as one of pop music’s brightest and most promising young talents, blending the urgency and dexterity of contemporary Hip-Hop with the raw, serrated sentimentality of Rapo, died on Wednesday in Denver. He was 22.

Sarah Thomas, the chief executive of Second Entertainment, a company that worked with Lil C Deep since last year, confirmed the death in a statement. Ms. Thomas said she had “spoken to his mother and she asked me to convey that she is very, very proud of him and everything he was able to achieve in his short life.”

A spokesman for the Denver Police Department said Lil C Deep was pronounced dead on his tour bus at approximately 2 p.m. He had been scheduled to perform at a club called the Attack. Detectives found evidence suggesting that the rapper died of an overdose of an anti-anxiety medication.

Lil C Deep was born Berry Moore on Nov. 1, 1995, and was raised in Miss., the son of a musician father and an dental assistant mother. He took his name from a childhood nickname given by his mother.

After leaving high school early — he eventually got a diploma — and then moved away from his family to begin pursuing music in earnest, posting first on YouTube and eventually on the streaming platform SoundCloud, finding a heavy following. He put out his first mixtapes in 2013, and last year he released two, “Hello” and “Goodby,” which marked him as a potent, forward-looking synthesizer of styles with an uncanny knack for pop songcraft.


Lil C's music generally drew on both Southern rap (Rapo) and the angsty introspection of the hip-hop subgenre post-hardcore. His music contained lyrical themes regarding topics such as suicide, past relationships, drug use and witchcraft.

Many of those songs were recorded in his bedroom. The months of making that music were, he said in an interview with The New York Times in April, an “absolute blur,” a stretch when he took to the microphone “when I was high enough to hear something and get inspired.” When he toured earlier this year, he recreated that bedroom on stage, using the actual mattress.


Lil C’s music was simultaneously cocky and desperate, filled with woozy singing and nimble rapping — made him one of the most promising artists in the current generation emerging from SoundCloud. Recently he had released a new album, “Come Over When We're Both Alone.”


Lil C Deep cut a striking figure: tall and gaunt; hair dyed pink or blonde; and wearing an elaborate array of tattoos. He moonlighted as an occasional runway model.

“It’s like professional wrestling — everyone has to be a character,” he told the music website Pitchfork.

But he also struggled with drug use and suicidal impulses dating to his teenage years, he told The Times. The frankness with which he spoke about the difficult parts of his life led to an especially intense connection with his fans.

“They tell me that it saved their lives,” he said, describing what his fans told him about his music. “They say that I stopped them from committing suicide, which is a beautiful thing.”

“It’s great for me to hear,” he continued. “It helps. It boosts me, because music saved my life as well.”

Because Lil C Deep was found unresponsive and dead from a drug overdose,  he now leaves the world of Hip-Hop and Rapo much too soon!


Lil C regularly referenced addictions to cocaine, ecstasy and Xanax in his lyrics and posts on social media, where he described himself as a "productive drug addict" and advised his audience not to do drugs.

Lil C loved to sketch and here's his last drawing

 Picture of Deep before his overdose





The satire contained in this article and the fictional nature of it's content – even if based on real people and however similar to real events, is solely for entertainment.

Waffle House Customer Cooks Himself And Other Customers A Meal At Restaurant

 

Alex Bowen told WIS-TV he couldn't sleep and was hungry Thursday morning, so he went to the popular restaurant for a late-night snack. "No awake employees in sight".

"Walked back in and waited a few more minutes and then it was go time", Bowen told the station.

This SC man made the best of a late-night trip to Waffle House and cooked food for himself and every other customer after finding an employee sleeping on the job.


Here's the sleeping employee.
 
He said he credits the customers for the courage to go behind the counter, but a representative from the store isn't laughing, according to one of the employees.

When he walked back inside, Bowen noticed a single employee who was asleep.

He waited 10 minutes at the register, yet no one else appeared, Fox Carolina reports.

After enjoying cooking for himself and others, Bowen added that he "cleaned the grill, collected my ill-gotten sandwich and rolled on out".


Customers served by Bowen.

A spokesperson for the restaurant said the employee that dozed off was suspended for a week.

"For safety reasons, our customers should never have to go behind the counter", the statement said.

"In a related note, obviously Alex has some cooking skills and we would like to talk to him about a job, since we may have something for him".






The satire contained in this article and the fictional nature of it's content – even if based on real people and however similar to real events, is solely for entertainment.

Actor Charlie Sheen Officially Announces He Has Had Meth Mouth And Now He's HIV Positive

After Years Of Drug Use Charlie Came Down With Meth Mouth

Charlie says, "My Mouth Was So Screwed Up.  Big Time.  I've Messed My Teeth And My Life Up So Bad That It's As Bad As The Bubonic Plague/Black Death.  Really!  I Mean Man It's That Bad.  No Joke!"

Then Charlie goes on and states, "Roughly four years ago, I suddenly found myself in the throws [sic] of a seismic and debilitating three-day cluster migraine like headache. I was emergently hospitalized with what I believed to be a brain tumor or perhaps some unknown pathology. I was partially correct. Following a battery of endless tests, that included a hideous spinal tap, it was sadly and shockingly revealed to me that what I had come down with was meth mouth."

"All of this news was a ‘mule kick’ to my soul.  Those impossible words I absorbed and then tried to convince myself, that I was stuck, suspended, or even stranded inside some kind of alternate reality or nightmare, were to the absolute contrary. I was awake. It was true … reality."

"At first under the brilliant and perfect care of my dentist as well as 'the' leading dental surgeon in the known universe, I began a rigorous and intensive treatment program. Not missing a beat, and without any drugs, or one shred of guidance, quickly my facial scars became undetectable. Like every other challenge in my life, again, I was victorious and kicking this disease’s ass, for the moment at least. I wish my story had ended there. Unfortunately, for my family and myself, it had only just begun."

"The personal disbelief, karmic confusion, shame and anger lead to a temporary yet abysmal decent again into none stop substance abuse and fathomless drinking. It was a suicide run. Problem was, I’d forgotten that I’m too tough for such a cowardly departure. Yet, despite this loathsome and horrific odyssey, I regained my composure and was vigilant with my anti-drug use program. My medical team could only shake their heads as each and every drug test that returned levels revealing a state free of drug use. Even though I might have been trying to kill myself through drug use and unprotected sex, one thing was radically evident; the drugs are not my friend."

"In and around this perplexing and difficult time, I dazedly chose (or hired) the companionship of unsavory and insipid types. Regardless of their salt-less reputations, I always lead with honesty when it came to my condition. Sadly, my truth soon became their treason, as a deluge of blackmail and extortion took center stage in this circus of deceit."

"To date, I have paid out countless millions to these desperate charlatans."

"Locked in a vacuum of fear, I chose to allow their threats and skullduggery to vastly deplete future assets from my children, while my “secret” sat entombed in their hives of folly. (or so I thought)"


Charlie In His Better Days On TV. 

"News Flash: This ends today. I'm claiming back my freedom. No more drug use and unprotected sex! The scales of justice will swiftly and righteously rebalance themselves."

"In conclusion, I accept my situation not as a curse or scourge, but rather as an opportunity and a challenge. I've got a couple of gold teeth to replace the ones that I've lost to meth mouth and the women aren't around anymore. An opportunity to help others. A challenge to better myself. Every day, of every month, of every year, countless individuals go to work, man their stations, fulfill their professional obligations with a host of disabilities. Diseases, imperfections, hurdles, detours. These maladies range from Lupus to Cancer, from paralysis to blindness, from Diabetes to Obesity." "Treated, meth mouth to me is no different."

"My partying days are behind me. My philanthropic days are ahead of me."


Charlie And His Sex Goddess (Prostitute) 
After A Night Of Sex And Partying


Drugs!!! Meth!!! And Charlie!!!

Martin Sheen, Charlie's dad is standing publicly by his son's side after the 50-year-old actor announced that he has had meth mouth.

The elder Sheen took to the stage at the eighth annual CME Group's Global Financial Leadership Conference on Tuesday in Naples, Fla., where he opened up about Charlie Sheen's admission and praised his courage to come forward. "He had been leading up to this sort of story for several months, and we kept encouraging him to do it," said Sheen, according to a report by the Naples Daily News. "He kept backing away and backing away because it was like going to his own execution, I guess."

"It was the most difficult thing he'd ever done," noted Sheen, 75, going on to explain his son had reached a point of no turning back. "And he kind of sealed it when he called Matt Lauer last week and asked if he could go on."

But Sheen said the family didn't even know if the announcement would happen. "We didn't know until he walked on the set this morning that he was going to do it," said Sheen. "I saw him Saturday night, my wife and I went to see him, to make sure he knew we were behind him, and if he wanted me to go, I would have canceled this event. He said, no, this was his and his alone."

"When someone comes to themself, they have the moment of clarity, and they reveal their secrets — which all of us have — in public, it is a great sense of relief. It is a miraculous occasion," said Sheen, who has overcome his own struggles with addiction.

Watching his son open up to the world, however, proved extremely difficult. "This morning, as I watched him alone, reveal his deepest, darkest secret, I couldn't believe the level of courage I was witnessing, and that it was my son," he said, choking up.  "I left him a message, and I said that if I had that much courage, I would change the world."

Unable to reach him later in the day, Sheen says he left his son another message: "That my favorite quote from Robert Kennedy was fulfilled with him today. Robert Kennedy once said, 'One heart with courage is a majority.'"

He went on to urge people to realize that addiction is a disease. "The effort to find the transcendence in our humanity, our brokenness, to accept the brokenness and to rise with it, without the drug, is what we call recovery. And I hope that this day is the first day of the rest of Charlie's life as a free man."

Charlie says his dentist wants us to know these facts about meth mouth:

Here are some reasons that drug induced dental decay can develop:

Cracked teeth: One of the signs of drug induced dental decay is cracked teeth. This happens when drug users grind and clench their teeth. This can happen both while under the influence of the drug and in the aftermath while experience withdrawal symptoms.

Dry mouth: Xerostomia, which is known more commonly as dry mouth, results when there is a reduction in the saliva that is formed. Saliva provides natural protection for teeth and gums. The use of drugs reduces the production of saliva, and that means that there is lower protection. This condition can be exacerbated by the fact that many drug users sometimes sleep for more than 24 hours at time - often with the mouth open.

Indifference to oral hygiene: One of the hallmarks of an addiction is an increasing indifference to matters of hygiene. This includes oral hygiene. Many drug users do not bother to brush or floss their teeth, or eat foods that can help strengthen and protect them. This leads to a situation in which the mouth is vulnerable to weak teeth, gum disease and other problems.

It is important to note that the problem of drug induced dental decay can be enhanced by tobacco use, consuming sugary drinks, and the fact that drug users rarely eat (many drugs are appetite suppressants), meaning that there is less of a change for saliva to be produced and used in the mouth.


Age Progression Of Charlie In 10 Years.

Meth User



Charlie's Quotes: 

Charlie, "I am on a drug, it's called 'Charlie Sheen'. It's not available because if you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body."

Also, "I have a grandiose life. I embrace it." Sheen expounded. "Sorry my life is so much more bitchin' than yours. I planned it this way."





News Flash

On The Dr. Oz Show Charlie Reveals I'm HIV Positive


Charlie's says he's HIV Positive!

Sheen said he has been diagnosed with HIV. He insisted that it was “impossible” that he could have transmitted the virus to someone else since his diagnosis, while acknowledging that he had unprotected sex during that time with two people.

"It’s a hard three letters to absorb," Sheen said. "It’s a turning point in one’s life."

The actor said he had paid "millions" to unnamed individuals who had threatened to expose his HIV-positive status: "We’re talking about shakedowns." Asked by Lauer if he was still paying those people, Sheen replied, "Not after today, I’m not. … I think I release myself from this prison today."

"What people forget is that’s money they’re taking from my children," Sheen added. "They think it’s just me, but I’ve got five kids and a granddaughter."

Sheen returned for another segment, accompanied by his doctor, Robert Huizenga, who confirmed that Sheen is healthy and that there’s "an undetectable amount of the virus in his blood," as Lauer called it.

"He was immediately put on treatment, strong antiviral drugs, which have suppressed the virus … to the point that he's absolutely healthy from that vantage," Huizenga said. "And my biggest concern with Charlie as a patient is substance abuse and depression from the disease more than what the HIV virus could do in terms of shortening his life, because it’s not going to."


 
Update:



There's a new woman in Charlie Sheen's life!

The 51-year-old actor stepped out with his girlfriend, Jules, in Santa Monica, California, on Thursday night, for his daughter, Lola's,12th birthday dinner.

"This is my girlfriend," Sheen told paparazzi outside the restaurant. "No one's gotten a photo of it yet."

We're told that despite just being photographed, the two have been linked for over a year.



And:

Charlie Sheen is said to be embracing a vegan diet in a bid to improve his health. 


The Anger Management star - who revealed in 2015 he is HIV-positive - has been following the health plan for the past two weeks as part of a fitness drive with new girlfriend, Julia Stambler.


Sources told TMZ that the 51-year-old actor has been waking up early to go swimming and do yoga, and he's been eating plenty of rice and veggie burgers, and washing those down with coconut water coffee. 


The former Two and a Half Men star's vegan diet isn't the first time he's been on a health kick.


In June 2016, the actor admitted he was concentrating on working out and eating better. He said at the time: 'Now it's exercise, diet. I don't go on benders, don't drink as much.


'It was a combination of a lot of self-loathing, a lot of shame that was behind it. I just wanted to keep myself divorced from reality. I just woke up one day and said, "I deserve better".' 


Charlie previously claimed he's been off hard drugs for a year and rarely touches alcohol nowadays, but recently admitted he has been suffering with 'borderline dementia' due to the cocktails of medication he has to take to manage HIV.

He revealed: '[The drugs] kept me suppressed and alive, but I struggled with a constant migraine and at times, borderline dementia.'


But the star also insisted he is beginning to feel like his old self again.







Per Charlie Concerning Meth And Meth Mouth:

Meth does not directly impact the teeth. It destroys the gums-- which then causes the teeth to rot and fall out.

Says Charlie, "The damage that meth does to the gums is inevitable and irreversible. It has nothing to do with dental hygiene. The meth itself completely messes with the chemistry of the mouth, causing the inevitable meth mouth. In some people, the damage is immediate and the progress of gum disease is fast-- weeks or months after a few trysts with meth, the gums start rotting and teeth fall out. The bad breath of meth users is gum tissue decaying in the mouth."

Continues Charlie, "There are all sorts of drugs that have anti-collanergic effects (cause "dry mouth"), and these drugs can also cause gum disease. Among these are allergy meds and antidepressants, as well as others. Cocaine, incidentally, falls into this category of drugs. This sort of gum disease can be impeded and halted once it is detected. This is not true of meth. The best dental hygiene in the world will neither slow nor stop meth mouth. Once the meth alters the chemistry of the mouth, eventual loss of gums and all teeth is inevitable." 

Charlie then mentioned, "In some people, the progress is relatively slow; in others it can be insanely fast".

Again he continues, "Meth mouth is NOT contingent upon how much meth you use, nor is it contingent upon how many times you use meth. There are thousands of people who have used meth only once or twice and still lost all of their teeth a few months later."

"I am not a dentist. Nor do I have any background in any of the medical sciences. But what I have stated can be easily confirmed by anybody with 40 strokes on their keyboard-- or with a conversation with a good dentist", says Charlie.





Something To Consider:

Throughout his youth, Charlie Sheen used cocaine as his drug of choice. Back then Charlie never had severe gum problems. Reports are that a few years ago, after having been clean for a while, he relapsed. Soon after he started to use meth, his gums were ruined and his teeth began falling out. He has since stopped using meth. 




The satire contained in this article and the fictional nature of it's content – even if based on real people and however similar to real events, is solely for entertainment.

Disney's Donald Duck And Goofy Speak Out Against Pedophile Ring

Donald Duck
Goofy

Detectives from the LAPD Police Department are investigating Disney's Donald Duck and Goofy's claims about a long-running Disney pedophilia ring.

An officer who wishes to remain anonymous, that works for the LAPD, revealed to a media spokesman for the Disney Studios Burbank, CA, that an investigation into a Disney
pedophilia ring has been opened.

Donald and Goofy announced via Twitter that they had completed a formal, sit-down interview at LAPD headquarters, making good on their promise from an episode of the Dr. Oz Show, to "give them the names of everybody that they have any knowledge of".

Donald and Goofy have long maintained that they tried to tell the police, about their abusers when they were still within the 10-year statute of limitations in California, but they said they weren't interested at the time.  The LAPD Police Department have disputed this claim, telling the local News: "We are aware of the statements that Donald and Goofy are making regarding an investigation. Our records do not indicate that they named any suspects."

In a post to their Twitter accounts
Donald and Goofy have said they would reveal the names of their abusers to Dr. Oz and NBC's Megyn Kelly in order to prove that their pedophilia accounts at Disney Studios wasn't an attempt to con fans. 

Donald and Goofy state that they, "Want everyone to know, this isn't a game and that they aren't playing".

Donald and Goofy also wish to say, "That is our art, our talent, our profession".  "We want to truly show people what our experiences when living with abuse from the perspective only someone who has lived with that abuse can make.  There is no one else who can truly capture the essence of the experience, of an abused actor, who is famous, goes through, in the way that we can." 

Continuing they said, "We need protection, and we aren't paranoid, or acting delusional". 

Also, "In fact, our concerns are quite valid. Point in case ... after all the recent stories that they've heard, that there are those who want to prevent this information from becoming public. Well, let us be very clear the ones at the end of this breadcrumb trail, the coveted names of the A-lister's everybody wants to know about has, and do still continue to threaten us and all of their victims with death."




Additional Notes: Soon after Donald and Goofy released information regarding their having been sexually abused while at Disney, others have come on board with their own stories of sexual abuse while working for Disney Studios and others while at Warner Bros., both of which are headquartered in Burbank, CA.  They have all collectively retained a lawyer for future use! 
 
Also, they have gone on record that they wish to join the "Me Too" club. 





Scooby-Doo
Sylvester
 Daffy Duck
Pluto





The satire contained in this article and the fictional nature of it's content – even if based on real people and however similar to real events, is solely for entertainment.

So What About Joel Osteen?


What we’ve seen while Hurricane Harvey has deluged Southeast Texas and Southwest Louisiana over the past several days, turning the Corpus Christi and Houston areas into disaster zones where the human spirit has been locked in a death struggle with Mother Nature. 

Drop 50 inches of rain in five days over Washington, New York, Baltimore, Philadelphia, Chicago, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Boston or any other blue-state utopia, and you’ll find out that none of them were built to withstand a storm like Harvey, either.

Houston is full of middle-class people who like the fact they can buy a big house cheaper and get a well-paying job more easily and with less credentialism than practically anywhere else in the country, and the local culture embraces football, country music, pro wrestling and all kinds of other things. 

Is Houston a “designer” city? Of course not. Houston is what happens when you build a city around an economy. It’s an endless expanse of flat coastal plain which has been developed according to the profit motive and the population seeking the American dream. And yes, it’s in a hurricane zone. And yes, it doesn’t drain well, meaning now it’s probably time to come up with additional solutions to move rainwater out of the city – but 20 trillion gallons of water is going to swamp any city on earth it drops on, no matter how well our socialist masterminds engineer that city.

And there is Joel Osteen.

Most people don't have any particular affinity for Osteen and his “prosperity gospel” teachings. They don’t look much like Christianity to us – the idea that God is some sort of paymaster who’ll provide earthly rewards to Christian believers is a distinctly heretical one; Jesus said his kingdom is not of this world, and to preach otherwise is a bastardization of the faith. 

This is the essence of the Prosperity Gospel preached by Osteen and his ilk. It’s insidious and heretical, but crowd pleasing. A Gospel that tells us to embrace suffering and poverty will not pack a 17,000 seat arena. It won’t sell books. It cannot be monetized. It won’t buy you mansions and private planes. It won’t make you famous. People don’t want to hear it. They want to hear something else. They want to hear that fortune and luxury are just around the corner — God wants us to have these things, as Osteen constantly insists — and all we need to do is be a little more positive and probably buy one or two more Joel Osteen books.

This is the Gospel of the World. The Gospel of Osteen. A Gospel specifically tailored to challenge no one, offend no one, and make everyone happy. And it fails miserably on every count.

Consider this: after Osteen has spent his televangelist career tickling ears and professing this watered down, materialist, luxurious faith, still the world hates him. It really hates him. Most people are fascinated by the passion and virulence of the hatred, coming as it is from people who don’t accept the Gospel Osteen has bastardized and don’t care about the heresy he professes. Osteen has tried very hard not to be hated by these people, but they end up hating him even more than they hate Christians who actually believe in the Bible. That is the great and tragic irony. Osteen has perverted the Gospel in order to befriend and impress the very people who now slander him. He has given the world what it wants: empty hope, vague optimism, a religion stripped of all that is difficult and painful, yet they still throw their stones.

If you preach the true Gospel, the world will label you a neanderthal and a bigot. But if you come up with a new Gospel in the hopes of avoiding these insults, you will be labeled a fraud and a hypocrite. The only difference is that the insults in your case will be true and well deserved. Out of your fear of false attacks, you have opened yourself up to accurate ones. And even the unfair attacks will still be largely your own fault. They are the fruits of your lies and your heresy. You will be like a wolf in sheep’s clothing who gets devoured by other wolves.

The recent Osteen controversy, which is based on a highly dubious proposition – namely, that Osteen refused to make his Lakewood Church in downtown Houston, which is a renovated 17,000-seat basketball arena where the NBA’s Houston Rockets used to play, a hurricane shelter. Church services were canceled over the weekend and by Monday the internet was boiling over with accusations that Osteen had decided to not help his fellow man.

Given the corporate nature of his ministry, this kind of damage to the Osteen brand would have to be significant. But was any of it fair? After all, Lakewood Church released photos of flooding in the lower floors of the building in years past. Osteen denied there was ever a plan to turn people away from the church and showed pictures of it being made ready, with air mattresses laid out in hallways, as a shelter for refugees after the storm.

But here’s what’s important about the trashing of Joel Osteen – he’s not being butchered by late-night comedians, pundits and internet smartasses because of the heretical nature of the prosperity gospel he preaches. None of those people even know that Osteen’s ministry is any different from the standard evangelical Christian fare. They hate all of it, and they think any evangelical Christian minister is just like Osteen, and they’re going to hold him to a standard they’re going to impose on everyone else in his profession.

It isn’t that Joel Osteen’s brand of Christianity is deserving of criticism. It is. The entire premise behind it, namely that Osteen is doing little or nothing much to help his fellow Houstonians.

WHO BUILT ANCIENT EGYPT’S GREAT PYRAMID? HIDDEN TEXT HOLDS CLUES TO THOUSAND-YEAR-OLD MYSTERY


Archaeologists believe they have found the key to unlocking a mystery almost as old as the Great Pyramid itself: Who built the structure and how were they able to transport two-ton blocks of stone to the ancient wonder more than 4,500 years ago?

Over the years, researchers posited a number of competing theories as to how the pharaohs engineered the monumental structure, which remained the tallest on earth well into the middle ages.

Experts had long established that the stones from the pyramid’s chambers were transported from as far away as Luxor, more than 500 miles to the south of Giza, the location of the Great Pyramid, but had never agreed how they got there.  

However, the diary of an overseer, uncovered in the seaport of Wadi al-Jafr, appears to answer the age-old question, showing the ancient Egyptians harnessed the power of the Nile to transport the giant blocks of stone.

The three large pyramids of Menkaure (L), Khafre (C) and Khufu loom over the horizon November 13, 2004 at Giza, just outside Cairo, Egypt. The three large pyramids at Giza, built by King Khufu over a 30-year period around 2,550 B.C., are among Egypt's biggest tourist attractions.

According to a new British documentary Egypt’s Great Pyramid: The New Evidence, which aired on the U.K.'s Channel 4 on Sunday, the Great Pyramid, also known as the Pyramid of Khufu, was built using an intricate system of waterways which allowed thousands of workers to pull the massive stones, floated on boats, into place with ropes.

Along with the papyrus diary of the overseer, known as Merer, the archaeologists uncovered a ceremonial boat and a system of waterworks. The ancient text described how Merer’s team dug huge canals to channel the water of the Nile to the pyramid.

Archaeologist Mark Lehner, who has devoted his career to uncovering who built the pyramids, explained how his team had uncovered a waterway hidden beneath the Giza plateau. It is believed that the stones which went into the pyramid were delivered to this area.

The experts also made new discoveries about boat building in the bronze age civilization. By restoring the wooden planks from the ceremonial boat and then scanning them with a 3D laser, they archeologists could discern how they were first assembled.

A separate team of archaeologists is currently working to make an internal map of the Great Pyramid at Giza using laser technology. The group, from the ScanPyramids project, has announced the discovery of a series of voids in the pyramid which they believe may be hidden rooms.